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We just acquired something you were bidding for on eBay! sorry.

Collections Us!

-> YOU HAVE BEEN ROUTED TO OUR COLLECTIONS DEPARTMENT <-
-=> Please Hold - Your Call is very IMPORTANT to us!<=-

WE HAVE:

• Many things you already have.

WE WANT:

• Gateway 3000 PC w/ Windows 93 preferrably w/ MaikoSoft(tm) RoB (installed) + BuGGeyeD mice.
• 4800 bps modem w/ MNP/ARQ+.
• LOL, Inc CD-ROMs or Floppy Disks w/ +INF free minutes.
• Your LISP machine (any dialect).
• an tellertypist (mousey free, pls).
• a certified computer pre-Y2K (tho Y2K compliant is O.K., K?)
• Hellschreiber DataFAX machine device service operator bureau station (or dresser drawer set, in 1950-esque birch or walnut).
• The VODER - (or homer dudley, tho preferrably The VODER)
• Research EUNICE 11 - (Bellmac RISC)
• SAGE - (most compleat and fully operational)
• QSL cards (?PSE TNX!)

WE SHALL NOT WANT:

• 1988 SAAB 900 SPG Turbo in Edwardian Grey.
• Timex Sinclair 1000 w/ 16kb memory expansion, thermal printer excessory and original boxes + receipt + lots of thermal paper rolls.

Recollections Us!

Here is a list of public emulators we recommend for recollections you may wish to reexperience for the very first or last time.
• UNIX 50! - Create and Destroy a number of Hysterical UNIX systems
• TimeSharing System 8 - Challenge your self and overcome your ph33rz
• SDF Public Access TWENEX TOPS-20 - A great improvement over it's successors (MRC)
• Incompatible TimeSharing System WOOF! WOOF! METHINKS A MINSKY LOGGED IN.

• BTC: 34i3jJrkKFyCLKRphApUskedBrA6GN5j8R

Jobs Us!

We are actively seeking a: The VODER Operator!

The successful candidate will:

• Have prior The VODER experience.
• Familiarity with various vocoders such as the Roland SVC-350 and Sennheiser VSM-201 (but not the Korg Micro-Korg NOT-A-VOCODER).
• Stenographer (by curiosity, hobby or profession)
• EVI/EWI or experience with various AKAI/Nyle Steiner breath/chording instruments.
• Telegraphy skill requirement: 45.5 5-Level BAUDOT keyboard and at least 18 WPM MORSE straight key proficiency.
• Must also be a Notary of The Public in current and good standing.
• Ability to follow ANY jazz chord progression using a Suzuki Omnichord (Suzuki method is a plus, but not a requirement.)
• Accepts TANG as an acceptable alternative to orange juice. (like the astronauts!)
• Able lift 147lbs of dead computer weight while under water (in similar fashion to the astronauts!)
• Part-time church organist a PLUS! (any denomintation: O.K. (w/ parking validation))
• A Billity to speak LISP (any dialect)
  
  We think you just failed THE INTERNET . . .
  
  
• YOU HEAR: 913.8Hz THEN 1370.6Hz successively AND both FOR 274 milliseconds THEN finally 1776.7Hz FOR 380 milliseconds.
• We're Sorry, The Voder Position has already been filled and therefore this position has been closed.
• (We're Sorry! - for you - try again, guess again, try again!)

The unsuccessful candidate is:

• Probably you (sorry)

• never (mebbe).
• actually .. yes -> tss-8 ONLiNE!